Men are asking, “Do you see me?”

WAYS TO HELP PEOPLE FEEL SEEN AND HEARD

1. Be Fully Present. Have you ever been talking to someone and as they’re “listening” they pick up their phone to check messages? They keep looking around at their surroundings? It doesn’t feel good does it? It can leave us feeling dismissed, unappreciated, and disrespected even if that wasn’t the intention.

2. Active Listening. Paying attention to what someone is saying without mentally planning your response before they have finished talking.

3. Reflective Listening. Allows the other person to really know that they are being heard. After listening to what they have to say, you can use simple phrases such as “I hear what you are saying” or “I can see how that must have made you feel.” You may also paraphrase what they have said back to them to demonstrate that you have taken the time to understand and fully grasp what they have expressed to you.

4. Hold Space for Them. Make efforts to create and hold space (undivided attention) for those close to you. Let them know that you’re there for them, whenever they need without the expectation of anything in return. It’s comforting and even liberating to know that’s available. In turn there’s a great tendency for them to open up and to be completely and be themselves.

5. Offer Complete Non-Judgment. When somebody comes to you, learn to listen without any need to judge or criticize. Even if you disagree with someone’s actions or ideas, try first to understand their perspective and to offer compassion, kindness, and non-judgment.

6. Validate Their Feelings. There is no “right” or “wrong” way to feel. To make another person feel heard and understood, we must be considerate when validating whatever emotion they are trying to express. Simple emotional validation is to acknowledge the feeling or emotion expressed with a phrase like, “I understand why that would have made you feel that way.”

7. Listen Without Trying to “Fix”. Instinctively, we want to “fix” or “solve” problems. But when people come to us, oftentimes they just want space to express themselves. Practice listening without the need to offer a solution, unless you’re asked to do so!

8. Remind Them How Much They Mean to You. There’s no better way to make someone feel heard, seen or understood than to simply tell them how much you value, respect, admire or love.

“Measure the need and fill it…the return will likely be greater than the output.”